4 Attributes of Marital Relationships that can Build or Destroy

By Arif Masoud
[A renowned architect, motivator, and a greatly admired faculty member of CIIT,  Islamabad. His love in creating beautiful designs from deep appreciation of nature is visible from the architecture of Islamabad Monument at Shakarparian.]
…. Four attributes of a  “Marital relationship” (among others) which either build or destroy it:
… 1)   Ego
… 2)   Expectation
… 3)   Possessiveness
… 4)   Forgiveness

  1. 10-15% Ego is very important to succeed in life.. But the rest is a ‘killer’ in All situations…
  2.  More than 80% of problems stem from one’s “Expectation” from others.. “Usko aisa karna chahiye thha.. ya nahin karna chahiye thha.. Ghar der se kyun aaye, jaldi aana chahiye thha… Etc…    The lesser the ‘expectation quotient’ the smoother the relationship…
  3. The devil of all, Possessiveness. . The ability to “let go” is a gem of a quality. . .. There MUST be a balance between “Your” space, “My” space and “Our” space……. Encroaching on either one of the spaces leads to frictions, often hidden, resulting into bigger emotional outbursts…
  4. The 4th: ” Forgiveness “: Last but not the least is the greatest attribute of relationship ….. 

After ALL of the above (three) the Master is this Fourth.
To be able to ‘forgive’ one has to be ‘above’ the instance of forgiveness… A level which has its own luxury of self satisfaction.

…. Buss iss satisfaction ka ‘maza’ lagne ki dair hai…
Khud, Khudi aur Khudaiy sub khush…

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  1. I think forgiveness is more to do with Tongue rather than with heart or mind. When you forgive someone you say " I forgive you for whatever you said or did. I will never ever talk about this in future."

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