I often see parents excessively worried about the economic future of their child. They are often projecting their own insecurities and their own inadequacies on their children despite a huge difference in their situation as a child and their child’s current situation. Their over-worrying about the economic future of child belies their faith and eeaman in Allah as Raziq. In their eagerness to protect their children from any adversity that they may face in future, they destroy their confidence, numb their creativity, and kill their enterprising skills which are the very skills required for survival in the unpredictable future. This post explains the misconceptions in this regard.
[Presented at ERDC Seminar on Economic Future of Your Child at KSBL, January 28m 2018]
[Presented at ERDC Seminar on Economic Future of Your Child at KSBL, January 28m 2018]
Role of “Raaziq”
The way I see the parents worrying about the children’s future is surprising. Forty years ago, in Karachi there were only two engineering colleges and two medical colleges. Today there are over 17 engineering colleges and around 15 medical schools, and there are over 30 universities. Today, any average student can get admission in whatever field he likes. The scenario is quite different from the exclusive opportunities available in the past. Yet I see the parents subjecting even a child age as small as 4-5 years with extended tuitions for preparing for admissions in God knows what school. I have seen of a kid of 4th grade being forced to attend tuitions after the school for 3+ hours and the parents paying over Rs 18000 to the tutor. This is extremely crazy. Robbing the child from his playtime, socialization time, and reflection time is criminal. I believe this attitude represents wavering of faith and eemaan in the creator being “raaziq”. This craziness is coming from parents who are projecting their frustrations and “mehroomis” on to the children and are going overboard in their effort to give them a more prosperous future. They seem to be trying to assume the role of “raaziq” when they think that are determining the abundance that a child may have in future!!!!
- See also: 5 Major Misconceptions of Muslim Parents regarding Parenting Challenges of the 21st Century
- See also: Parenting Challenges of the 21st Century
Education as a Source of Future Affluence
We kill the essence of education, the moment we connect it with the earning potential. We need to clarify that education is not for making money. The goals of education are much broader than simply earning. By focusing on money, we tell the child that money is more important than education. As there are more efficient and faster ways of making money than education, so the child ignores are exhortation for reading and writing and considers them to be irrelevant to the task of amassing money. They simply go through the motions of acquiring the degrees as just a necessary evil that needs to be circumvented. Then we become worried that the child is not taking interest. We must orient the child towards to real purpose of education.
- See also: Why Education and Why Higher Education: Leadership in Life and Society
- Youth Leadership and Dave Ulrich-Orientation for University Students
Self Confidence
The key personality trait required by the child while growing up is his self-confidence. Parental judgments emanating from their own insecurities and adverse experience are responsible for killing the very self-confidence that would help the child when he grows up in fighting any adversity and unpredictability in life.
Furthermore, comparison with siblings, friends and cousins further destroys their confidence:
Over-protection, excessive monitoring and not having faith in the abilities of the child also destroys the confidence of the child and his creativity and innovation that would enable him to deal with unpredictability of life.
Choosing the Future Career of our Child
Trying to search for a career with great scope that my child should choose is foolish and counter productive. The success in life comes from hard work. It does not come from the choice of career. If we do not allow the child to discover the passion of his life, he would never be able to find the niche where he can put in the desired time and effort that would take him to the top.
See also:
- 5 Major Misconceptions of Muslim Parents regarding Parenting Challenges of the 21st Century
- What does a Child Need? Mother’s Teacher-hood vs Motherhood
- Parenting Challenges of the 21st Century
- Parenting and Physical/Corporal Punishment
- Harmful Effects of Comparing Siblings and Children
- Who Fails when a Student Fails
- From Disposable Cups to Throwaway Relationships: Costs of Disposable Culture
- 13 Myths of Schooling and Education: Resources
- Psychiatrist vs Educationist-Selecting whom to consult: Psychiatrist, Neurologist, Psychologist, Educationist, “Aamil” (Exorcist), “Pir” or “Shaikh”
- Truth about Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD/ADHD): Reasons and Revelations
- Overprotected Kids: Need for Risk Taking and Self Discovery
- Secret of Happiness: One Simple Rule
- How Language Acquisition is Made Difficult for Children: Eight Lessons from an Urdu Acquisition Case Study
- How Parental Judgments can Shatter a Child: Self Fulfilled Prophecies
- Which Field with Great Scope Should My Child Choose: There is always a room at the top
- Learning Problems: Top 9 Questions to Answer Before You Run for Help
- Charter of Children’s Recognition
- Why My Child does not Sit and Concentrate?
- Who is educated! – Iqbal’s View
- School Discipline vs Prison Discipline
- Are you really concerned about your child’s education
- How to become a Life-Long Learner: Mission of Developing Life-Long Learners
- Shahjehan S Karim – Visionary Social and Ethical Leadership
- How do I lift thee from the mundane: Musings of a Dean
- Dr Wahab and IBA of 1980s and 1990s
- Youth Leadership and Dave Ulrich-Orientation for University Students
- Why Engineering Students are Reluctant to become Entrepreneurs: Role of PEC and Universities
- Change Management in Academics: Change Agents and Credit Hours
- 6 Trends that will Determine your Career Success in the 21st Century
- Nine (9) Dimensions of Ethical Leadership
- Time Management of Social/Marriage Events in Karachi: A Case Study of How to Create Social and Youth Impact
- Why Education and Why Higher Education: Leadership in Life and Society
- Georgia – Lesson in Preserving Language, Religion and Culture
- What Inspires Me: Leadership Against All Odds
- Entrepreneurial Leadership for 21st Century
- Why Job Security?
- Four Legacies of a Leader: Which one would you leave behind?
- Myth: We are Backward because we Lag Behind in Science and Technology
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