Category: Parental Counseling
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Playing with Fire: Confidence Building
Lighting up the fire for making tea during tracking and picnicking in the wilderness. Food cooking in scouting. We used to burn the bushes around our house in the wilderness when they have dried up in the autumn. They would grow during the summer monsoon to several feet high. Then they would dry up in…
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How to Build Confidence in Children: Climbing the Trees and Getting out of a Hole
This must be around 1965-66. I am around 4-5 playing in my next door neighbor’s house with my friend Umair, and somehow I had managed to climb up a large shahtoot (mulbery) tree in their courtyard. I could still feel my exhilaration that I felt as I went up and up from one branch to…
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5 Challenges for Designing your Professional Lives
Faculty, Parents and my dear students: As I look at your beaming faces full of hope and aspirations and great expectations of your future after four years of university life, I first invite you to try to soak in this environment of this marvelous infrastructure at IoBM. You are sitting in the building which is…
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Can a Child Learn a Foreign Language without obtaining full competency in First language
بچے کی زہنی نشو نما و خود اعتمادی کا گلا گھوٹنا ہو تو اس کو “پہلی زبان” پر دسترس ہونے سے قبل انگریزی زبان کے جبر میں قید کر دیں I got this comment on the above FB post: Actually kids can learn multiple languages early in life a lot easier than later. But the…
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Zauq-e-Aagahi, Quresh Pur and PTV’s role in Inspiring a Generation of Knowledge Seekers
Once upon a time on PTV we used to have quiz competitions of the highest order. I grew up with many such programs that made me look up to the contestants as the wizards of knowledge. Unfortunately today on TV we find nothing except crass, gross, coarse and vulgar competitions like programs where they are…
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Smoking and Childhood
The closest I had ever come to smoking was when I was 6years old when my neighborhood friend introduced me to the dried branch of “turai” (torai, gourd). It has perforations that allow to be lighted and smoked. Did smoke that for a few days. Got caught, and somehow my mother logically convinced me to…
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How to Measure the Quality of Your "Parental Relationship"
Quality of “parental relationship” : اپنے بچوں سے تعلق قائم کریں قبل اس کے کہ کوئی اور ان سے تعلق قائم کرنا شروع کر دے ۔ Following parameters indicate quality of your relationship is NOT good and you need to be concerned if: If you don’t trust your child, then there is a “trust deficit”.…
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Parental Concern about Economic Future of our Child
I often see parents excessively worried about the economic future of their child. They are often projecting their own insecurities and their own inadequacies on their children despite a huge difference in their situation as a child and their child’s current situation. Their over-worrying about the economic future of child belies their faith and eeaman…
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5 Major Misconceptions of Muslim Parents regarding Parenting Challenges of the 21st Century
[Themes of this post were presented at Forward Institute for Educational Bridgework Seminar on Jan 27, 2016. ] Note: This post is specifically written for Muslim parents and presupposes reader’s belief in Quran and Sunnah. Over the last few years I have come across Muslim parents who are making extra effort in following Sunnah. However,…
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Top 10 Reasons Why Students Fail in Semester System- Survival Guide
About 5%-10% of students entering the university are unable to survive the semester system. The following list of top 10 reasons is based on my observations as a student from 1980-1994 at NED, IBA Karachi and at Univ of Texas at Austin. These are also based on my interactions with dropouts as faculty member from…
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Harmful Effects of Comparing Siblings and Children
Biggest torture (zulm) on a child that can be done by a parent is “comparing the child with a sibling or some other child”. For example here is the complaint of a mother of two children: “Comparison starts as early as one month; He was active, but this child is so weak… He walked so…
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4 Attributes of Marital Relationships that can Build or Destroy
By Arif Masoud [A renowned architect, motivator, and a greatly admired faculty member of CIIT, Islamabad. His love in creating beautiful designs from deep appreciation of nature is visible from the architecture of Islamabad Monument at Shakarparian.] …. Four attributes of a “Marital relationship” (among others) which either build or destroy it: … 1) Ego…
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Who Fails when a Student Fails
Should not this be true also for schools? Are we willing to take responsibility of the failure of our students? We conveniently try to shift the blame to the student, or to his genetic intelligence, or to his learning disability, or to his psychological deficiency, or to his parents, or to his family, or to his…
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From Disposable Cups to Throwaway Relationships: Costs of Disposable Culture
Transforming a Disposable Culture By Dr. Irfan Hyder Disposable Relationships The emerging lifestyle of today requires that we restrict ourselves to a small cocoon. We are sold that we should gain expertise in only one particular subject. Our occupations are specialised, limiting our view to a narrowly focused area, and our daily chores revolve around…
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Rememberance of My Father and Loved Ones: Every day is Father’s Day and Mother’s Day
Our love for the father gives us support for every day of our lives for a long time even after they have gone for years. Matriculation of my father Ahsan Hyder: From L-R: Sitting: Syed Ikram Hyder(great-grandfather), Syed Ab Ghani Hyder (grandfather) Standing: Sultan Hyder (Rummi)-Rasheed Hyder- Ahsan Hyder-Zaheer Hyder-Jarrar Hyder Prof Dr Zaeem Jaffery…
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Pursuit of Excellence vs Guzara: How to teach excellence through everyday examples
This is late 1979, I had completed my intermediate, and my father had retired from his government job in Islamabad. We were moving back to Karachi from Islamabad via train in a reserved coupe of the economy class. The train system was already in a fast decline then. Gone were the days when the reserved…
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13 Myths of Schooling and Education: Resources
Myths of Schooling and Education: Resources There are popular “Myths” about education and schools that have become a matter of unquestionable belief for a large section of population during the industrial age. See Changing Education Paradigms by Ken Robinson Many successful and great people have busted these myths through their own personal achievements, examples, research and successful…
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Overprotected Kids: Need for Risk Taking and Self Discovery
Overprotected Kids: Need for Risk Taking and Self Discovery Risk taking used to be part of the every day growing up experience of every child. With our over-protection and over-carefulness we are throttling the innovation, creativity and liveliness of our children. Risk taking and suspense used to make kids mentally strong and develop an ability…